Thinking back over the last four years with Nicolas so many things have flooded my thoughts. I can still see clearly standing in my mothers drive way kissing my sisters tummy and telling Nicolas I would see him soon. We were all so excited, giddy like a child waiting for Christmas morning. We were all up late that night after Jake and Felisa left for the hospital to be induced. Little did any of us knew how much my sisters family lives and our lives would change.
I remember going to the hospital and learning of his delivery being stressful on him and not wanting to eat, but I didn't think much of it. My sister and Jake were exhausted from being up all night, so our visit to the hospital was short. We made photo albums for Garrett, Jake and Will to take to school the next day to show all their friends. At that point we were still not worried about Nicolas well being/health, but that would all change.
After Felisa and Jake getting home they started noticing things with Nicolas and he still wasn't really interested in feeding. He had started to go backwards instead of surging forward and that began their life of living in the hospital for the next six month trying to understand what was going on with Nicolas. For me as an aunt I can remember feeling helpless to them and wanting to not think negative or even admit there were serious things going on with Nicolas. I was just thinking he will be fine and just needed a little help right now. Then the reality started coming in with Jake and Felisa announcing to all of us he would need surgery, the types of test they were running and was placed in the NICU unit.
By that time it was my kids spring break and we had drove to Ohio to see family and to paint wall graphics. What I can remember the most is locking myself in that room painting and crying out for God to help me understand how this could happen to a child, asking God for healing and wisdom for all the staff caring for him. I honestly can't remember crying so hard and long that day as I did. For even months after I can remember this being my same pray for him. God has healed the sick, healed a blind man and healed the cripple, so I knew God could heal Nico, but when would he do this. Months passed, Parkview NICU turned to lots of Riley and doctor vistits, test after test and trying all different kinds of medications in hopes that would be the one that could help Nico.
Before we all knew it we were celebrating his first birthday. I remember all of us saying to Felisa and Jake "can you believe how fast the year has gone?" but to them it had felt like 3 years Felisa has once told me. That party was only with the Grandparents since that current drug he was on striped his immune system which made him in great danger of getting sick. So to include all the families Felisa & Jake sent each of our families a care package that included all the pirate party favors and a DVD of Nicolas over the first year of life. All of us then took photos and made video of how we celebrate Nico in our homes and sent them back to Jake and Felisa. It was fun way to celebrate him and a great feeling to see him make it to his 1 birthday.
Each birthday since has been a milestone for him as well as for Felisa and Jakes family. It is a precious time for our family. A time for thanking God for his good/stable health, Nicolas with us and able to celebrate another year, a time of reflecting just how precious life is, and for us to continue to trust God and his plans for Nicolas. Really each day is a birthday party!
Nico is growing so big and is the size of a four year, but still has lots of special care instructions for his day to day life. He currently is healthy and staying indoors at home during this time of year of flu and cold season. Felisa and Jack give meds to him at 12a, 6a, 12p, 6p every day since the day he was born. He has an awesome wheelchair that allows him to stand with the help of supports on it. That is always so cool to see because majority of time he is laying on his back or sitting in a special chair made just for him and his spine. His spine is twisting and turning from the lack of muscle development. And the newest equipment is a vest that vibrates to keep his lungs from filling with fluid. It shakes pretty hard and I always hate to see that.
God hasn't healed him here on earth, but God is doing amazing things in the hearts of our family and those closest to Felisa and Jake. I started seeing that God had bigger plans then what I wanted for Nicolas; to grow our faith and a witness to people around us. God will heal Nicolas just not on earth and that is okay. I am just thankful for the special gift of Nicolas and to be apart of this journey. I long to see the day where I can see Nicolas run into Jake and Felisa's arms and hear his voice say mommy and daddy and give them a hug they long from him.
Finally, how wonderful it is to know that our family is putting our faith and trust in Christ and to have Him walking along the side of Felisa, Jake, Nicolas, Garrett, Sophia and our extended family. How much more scary would it be without Christ in the good times and the bad times? My prayer for our family is for Gods continued wisdom for Nicolas parents, for the doctors that care for him and for all of your family trusting and living for Jesus Christ.
Happy 4th Birthday Nicolas!
We love you!
This photo was taken at Christmas with his cousins...Will some how lost his balance!
No comments:
Post a Comment